PokéRangers!
by Eloquent Liar
Summary: Pokabu, Mijumaru and Tsutarja are all relatively normal teens with one big secret: they're secretly the Unova Rangers, a group of girls with special powers that battle evil around Unova! With their mascot Zorua by their side, they'll fight any Shadow Beast that threatens the Pokémon World! / Or, a magical girl parody set in the Pokémon universe.


El: This is my first fanfiction on this account, and probably by far my most ambitious, but don't take it all too seriously. Crossposted from AO3, and I'll attempt to update on both websites.

Other than that, enjoy!

* * *

 **EPISODE 1: THE START OF SOMETHING MAGICAL! I'M A POKéRANGER?**

* * *

Aspertia was a nice little city to the deep Southwest of the Unova region. Nothing ever happened there, except for those few moments when something threatened the whole region, like the Galactic threat that my own older siblings had stopped just a few months prior. Now, as Rosa and Nate were returning home not only as the Unova League Champion (in my brother's case) but also the saviors of Unova - alongside the twins of legend, Black and White, and ex-king of Team Plasma N Harmonia - our usually sleepy city was in an uproar as everybody prepared for the festival to celebrate the small-town heroes' success.

"It's crazy to think that so much has happened," Hugh noted as he leaned against the railing surrounding the lookout. He had returned home first, with his Pidove now fully evolved into a beautiful Unfezant, and was the one to tell us the news of what had happened out on the continent. "Purrloin, Team Galactic, the Pokémon League...everything." He frowned. "I'm still not giving up, though. I'll become stronger than Nate, for sure."

I laughed and shrugged. "I bet you will. You know, what if you challenged him to a battle tonight? Show everybody how much stronger you and your Pokémon have gotten since you started out."

"I think I will, actually. An unofficial battle, for Aspertia's pride."

We talked for a bit more before I left for Floccesy, literally the only other city my mom let me visit. I was supposed to meet Nate, N and Black there today, and White and Rosa were going to "take the scenic route" and fly to Castelia before heading here. When I got to Floccesy, Mr. Alder was sitting on the cliff - as per usual - and waved down at me as I passed by. "Hey there, Pokabu," he shouted, jumping from the ledge right in front of me. I freaked out a bit, still not used to the crazy guy's entrances, and he grinned. "The boys are already here, they've been waiting in the school. Why don't you go on and get them to scram?"

I laughed at the humor in his voice and nodded, racing over to his house - it was pretty much open all the time, Mr. Alder was so trusting. When I got to the house, though, nobody was there. "Hello?" I called out as I ventured farther into the house, but nobody answered. "Ugh," I groaned, "it's just like you guys to ditch a girl on the first day!"

"Woah there, I'm not sure I want to go around datin' my friend's little sister," came a joking voice, and I turned around. Behind me stood three guys - their facial expressions ranged from exasperated to teasing to completely out-of-place awkward. The man on the far left, Mr. "I really don't want these people to be here", was easy to recognize as my brother, Nate Grey. The cocky guy that looked exactly like him, sans the crazy hair plus a cooler hat, was most definitely Black Hilson, the ex-Champion, now in early retirement thanks to my brother. As for the last guy, whose face screamed "I really don't want _myself_ to be here", everybody in Unova, if not the whole world, knew who he was - Lord N, ex-slash-returning King of Team Plasma, dedicated to teaching everybody how to properly treat Pokémon. "You must be Natey's li'l sis, huh?" Black said as he ruffled my hair. "Cool ta meet ya, shortstack."

I looked at him blandly, but ignored the quip to ask him a question. "You're from Nuvema, huh?" Black nodded and I smirked. "That's what I thought. Your accent is waaaaay obvious." Black laughed and I walked past him to hug my brother and give N a quick bow. "Milord," I said, trying to act politely - I mean, he was a king, no doubt he was used to people acting like such around him, right? But when I looked up, he seemed even more flustered than before.

"Ahaha," Black laughed. "Before White n' me, N wasn't used ta people other than the grunts who worked under 'im. He's still gettin' used ta the attention from people who don't look like they stepped out of a medieval Pokewood movie." He smirked. "Except fer me, a' course, but that's a different story." I laughed along with Black as N's face flared up into a great shade of Misty-hair red.

"Joking aside," I finally said after calming down, "we really need to get to Aspertia before mom thinks I ran off to the mainland."

The walk to Aspertia City was filled with chatter as Nate got caught up with the goings-on around here and Black and N got a taste of the countryside. "Woah woah woah!" Black shouted as I brought up Cheren. "Yer tellin' me that ol' two-eyes is a gym leader?" Nate and I glanced at him, my brother with a look of disbelief and I with my eyebrows raised in a "you have got to be kidding me" look. "What? I've been trainin' my butt off on Victory Road, I haven't been down from that place since I won."

I rolled my eyes at his attitude. "Well anyways, yeah. Normal type leader, the gym's down here in Aspertia. He uses weaker Pokémon than you're used to, of course, since he teaches at the academy, too." Black snickered, and Nate swatted him on the shoulder. "Oh hey," I said, changing the topic as we reached the top of a hill. "We're almost home."

Aspertia wasn't the biggest town ever, but the energy was enough to show how excited everybody was. Caught up in the moment, Nate let out a whoop and started running downhill, followed shortly after by yours truly. Black laughed and followed us, dragging a flustered N along. "ASPERTIA!" Nate yelled out, loud and proud, and several cheers were heard from the citizens below. He flew down the slope, almost tripping over himself in the process, and didn't stop until he reached the city, laughing and spinning around in dizzying circles in the middle of the street. I joined him, giggling at the thought that we must have looked like two drunk Spindas. If Nate had one thing, it was addicting charisma, and it was obvious as even Black and N, who were practically strangers in Aspertia, followed us giddily through the streets. We finally ended up at the small enclave that overlooked the forest, and I sat down next to my bro on a bench as the outsiders gazed out at the land.

"Pretty, isn't it?" I asked, and Black nodded, while N stared at the wide range of Pokémon that could be seen lounging within the confines of Floccesy Ranch.

"It sure is, ain't it. Nice little niche in the countryside, must be nice just stayin' here, all peaceful like. Imagine how this would've looked if Ghetsis...well." The four of us sat in comfortable silence, until Nate stood up, stretching and deciding that he had better check up with mom. I excused myself from the other heroes' presence and followed my brother.

"Hey, Nate!" Several people greeted him, and he returned the gestures with a wave and smile of his own. It was casual, as if he had never left, saved the world _or_ become the Unova League champion. Odd, yes, but a comfortable kind of odd. Even Nate seemed to notice, relaxing considerably as we made our way home.

He paused slightly as he placed his hand on the doorknob, glancing at me curiously. "Do you think it's okay to leave the lovebirds up on makeout point?" That only earned him a shove in the side, at which he laugh-coughed and opened the door.

We were both met by a furious looking mother.

"Nate Bartholomew Grey, you could have come home for dinner at least _once!"_ I stepped out of the way and into the living room as a spatula flew at my brother, filled with the unbridled rage of a mother scorned. There was nothing I could do but watch the ensuing chaos as Nate went in for a hug and my mom cried into his shoulder. I would really never figure out how moms worked; I thought she would be happy that he was back, but she was...sad, instead?

Nate seemed to understand though, and glanced at me sheepishly. I just stuck my tongue out at him while mom wasn't looking; he hadn't looked this guilty when he tore a massive hole through my favorite Kanto Escavaliers jersey. He scowled before returning his attention to mom. "Uh, mom, don't you need to save some of that for Rosa?"

"Rosa called yesterday," I said blandly. " _You're_ the one who keeps forgetting to stay in touch. Did you know that she actually managed to leave a voice mail right before her showdown with Ghetsis?" It was impressive, actually. Nate was the one who ran away from home; Rosa was the one who had almost never left. "Anyways, mom, can I go help Mr. Cheren set up the exhibition tournament? I want to get a close look at the roster before the festival."

What I assumed was an innocent question caused my mom to wipe some tears away and frown at me worriedly. "Pokabu," she murmured in the motherly tone that meant she disapproved of my actions. "Are you really going to compete in the tournament _again?_ You're thirteen already..."

I bristled, trying not to sound _too_ angry at my mom. "So? Just because I haven't won the tournament yet doesn't mean I won't! Anyways, Nate and Rosa were already sixteen when they started battling!" Neither of them had gone to the Academy, since we didn't have enough money, so their journeys literally started when they received their starters. I, on the other hand, had started attending right after Rosa sent home the money she won beating Cheren, and...hadn't fared so well at all.

My mother knew that all too well. "Pokabu, you haven't won a single _battle_ yet, and I'm not sure that you ever _will_. I don't think you're cut out for being a Pokémon trainer, and that's...that's okay, not everybody is built for Pokémon battling, but you should probably look for something more suited to your strengths. How about becoming a PokeWood actress? Or perhaps writing for the Unova Times like Mr. Cain's daughter?"

"PokeWood is boring and Tsutarja Cain is a shut-in who has no friends," I scowled before turning the doorknob. "And if you don't mind, I'm going to prove that I can be as good a Pokémon trainer as anybody else." Before I could so much as hear a reply from Nate or my mom, I opened the door and left, not looking back after the door closed behind me.

It would come as no surprise to anybody to figure out that I didn't take kindly to suggestions that I _not_ become a Pokémon trainer. Nate and Rosa were basically the messiahs of Aspertia, and to do anything less than them would be considered a shame to the family. It didn't matter what my mom, or my siblings, or the rest of the town said, I knew that, in the end, their encouragements were all small lies. "You don't have to be a Pokémon trainer! Just be yourself! Everybody has their strengths and weaknesses!"

Yeah, right.

I was so intent on stewing over my own self-pity that I barely noticed the commotion in front of the Academy until I was barely a couple of feet away from it. "Cheren, you _know_ I'll be able to afford tuition next month, I just need a little bit more time." The man talking to Cheren was Elias Glade, and the only reason I knew him was because I was in the same class as his daughter, Nora. "You're the only teacher, can't you do _anything?"_

I watched as Cheren looked away, not wanting to answer. "I'm sorry," he said finally, "but you know that I have to answer to the League. They told me no more extensions, so...I'm sorry." Elias glowered one more time before turning away, glancing at me only briefly before stalking off. Cheren sighed, and I gave him a moment to collect himself, after which I grinned sheepishly. "Pokabu," he cleared his throat and brushed off his jacket, "why are you here so early? The tournament doesn't start for another two hours."

"I just wanted to help set up," I said innocently, toeing the sandy ground as if I were completely innocent. Cheren saw straight through me, though- something he had picked up after having taught me for two years.

"You wanted to check the roster before it was posted, didn't you." The bright grin on my face was enough to make him sigh. "It's going up in the next half hour anyways, so I don't see a problem in letting you take a look- but no peeking at the Pokémon lineup, okay?"

"Yessir!" I saluted before ducking into the Academy to find out who my first opponent would be. It wasn't like it mattered anyways, since our performance really depended on which Pokémon we managed to get out of the random lineup, but I always liked knowing who my first - and unfortunately, usually only - opponent would be. I was surprised, however, to see that I was going up against Nora Glade, the very person who- well, I didn't want to think about it. She was pretty talented as a trainer, nowhere near my brother or sister's skill level but definitely had potential, considering she had won the last two festival tournaments. With that in mind, I _knew_ that I had to beat her, to show mom - and Nate and Rosa - that I could be just as strong a trainer as the rest of them were.

"They weren't randomized, you know." I glanced up at Cheren, who was staring at the roster as well. "I had to decide who to place against who in the first bracket. It wasn't an easy decision."

There was an underlying implication that I didn't appreciate. "Pit the strongest against the weakest, right? Get me out of the way?"

Cheren seemed taken aback by how moody I was; I didn't blame him, I was almost surprised by how I was acting, too. "You're not the _weakest,_ Pokabu. You're the only one in our class who fully understands double-type matchups, and your strategies are almost on par with White's. You just...have bad luck."

"Right," I muttered sarcastically, "it's just _bad luck_ that my Pokémon never listen to me."

"I still don't know why, though. They're trained to listen to all novice trainers, but when it comes to you, they never do." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, before sighing once more. "You know, I've talked to your mother."

I groaned under my breath. "Here we go again."

"She's right, about not having to try so hard to be your brother or sister. I understand that being a powerful trainer is a great goal for you, but battling isn't the only form of strength, you know."

"Mr. Cheren, are you here to tell me I should be an actress, or a shut-in news reporter or something?"

"That's oddly specific, but no, Pokabu, I'm just saying that there's more to life than just training Pokémon. Don't put all your Exeggcutes in one basket, okay?"

I had stopped listening to him at that point. "All right, Mr. Cheren, whatever you say, but you're going to change your mind when I win the tournament!" And just to avoid another talk about my future and how much I was failing at what my siblings could do, I gave Cheren a big hug and walked away while he was paralyzed. He _hated_ hugs, or physical contact of any sort. It was common knowledge, and most often utilized by his other students when trying to skip class. For now, though, it helped me avoid yet another conversation with yet another person who deemed me as a failure, even if they didn't say that out loud.

But I _was_ going to show them. I was going to beat Nora, and the rest of the students of the Pokémon Academy, and I was going to show everybody that I could become the next Champion.

I was going to _win._

* * *

I was going to _die._

"Hey, don't worry about it," Nora sat next to where I was standing atop a hill as we watched my Pokémon - Skitty - chase her own tail. "Just because she won't listen to you now doesn't mean she doesn't know how to battle." It was ten minutes until the start of the Festival Tournament, and I had spent the past twenty minutes trying, and failing, to get acquainted with my partner Pokémon. The little devil had no desire to be with me, apparently, even though she had spent a good fifteen minutes rubbing up against Nora's legs and begging for Pokeblocks. Nora's own Pokémon, a Lillipup, simply wagged his tail as he sat by her side. "Don't give up, okay, Pokabu?"

I knew she was just saying that to make me feel better. Every season, I competed in a tournament. Every season, I lost in the first round. Luck or not, it was like I just wasn't meant to be a trainer. What Cheren and my mom had said was starting to make more sense, even if I didn't want to admit it. "Yeah, okay, I won't."

And even if I _could_ get my Pokémon to listen, Nora was the prodigy of the class. She could probably beat a Garchomp with a Rattata if she tried hard enough. She really _was_ too nice to be comforting the person whose butt she was going to kick in- I glanced at my watch. "Match starts in five, we should probably get going. Skitty, come on."

Skitty hissed at me angrily, and I sighed and forced her to return to her Pokeball as Nora stood up. We made our way to the festival grounds, where a battle arena - or at least the tracings of one - was etched into the ground in the middle of town square. "Pokabu, Nora," Cheren greeted us as we checked in with him. "You're the first battle tonight, so I want to see a great match from both of you. Now take your places." Nora glanced at me worriedly, but I ignored her as we shook hands and walked to our respective boxes.

"Ladies an' gentlemen, are ya ready ta kick off tha festival tournament with a bang?" I was startled to hear Black's voice coming from the intercom, and glanced over at the sound booth to see him giving me a thumb's up. "Tha reignin' champion, in tha blue box, is none other than Nora Glade, winner a' tha past two festivals an' all around battle master. An' her challenger, in tha red box, is Pokabu Grey, strategical genius an' sister a' our very own Nate and Rosa Grey. Both trainers are allowed ta use one Pokémon, an' tha battle ends when one trainer's Pokémon is unfit fer battle, or one trainer forfeits. Are ya ready? Start!"

Before I could even shout that no, I was _not_ ready, Lillipup had leapt from Nora's side onto the field without any instruction from his trainer. I stared at him for a couple of seconds, trying to gauge his experience level, before releasing Skitty, hoping that she would finally be in a fighting spirit. "Skitty, I choose you!"

Skitty flew onto the field in a burst of red light, and I had a small flare of hope that she would be ready to battle, but it disappeared quickly as she simply sat in the middle of the field, pawing at her tail. She glanced at me once, or so I assumed by the way she turned her head towards me, before going back to ignoring me. Nora shot me a sympathetic look, but her worry wasn't enough to stop her from issuing a command. "Lillipup! Use tackle!"

Lillipup charged at Skitty, but the cat Pokémon was quick enough to roll out of the way, hissing at the Lillipup and starting to get into position. "That's the spirit, Skitty!" I tried to encourage her to battle, but it seemed as though my voice had the opposite effect and she turned to hiss at me instead. "Come on, can't you work with me, _please?_ How about a tackle?"

Skitty hissed again, and by the look in her eye, I wasn't going to get a tackle from her any time soon. But boy, was I wrong, and boy did I wish I _wasn't_ wrong.

I got a tackle after all.

* * *

"It could've been worse." I tensed up considerably upon hearing a feminine voice come from the door beside my bed. After Skitty had knocked me into a booth using her powerful Tackle, I had been sent to the infirmary to make sure I didn't suffer any traumatic head injuries. Fortunately, none of my bones were broken. Unfortunately, my pride was, and it was made even worse when I realized that White and Rosa were in town and had seen exactly what happened. "It could've been a Leaf Tornado."

" _Could've been a Leaf Tornado,"_ I repeated in mock falsetto, and Rosa sighed in defeat. She knew how futile cheering me up could be. "Thanks for the words of encouragement, Rosa, but I don't think I'll ever get a Pokémon strong enough to learn Leaf Tornado."

White cleared her throat awkwardly from where she was standing behind Rosa. "I really hope you don't mind me interrupting your family bonding moment, but we're kind of late for our siblings double. Pokabu, do you mind if we-?"

"Just go," I murmured, already feeling tired of having Rosa around if she was just going to try to be the nice older sister. "I'll probably be out to catch the second half. Good luck, White. You too, Rosa." White nodded and left, and Rosa took one last nervous glance at me before following suit, finally allowing me a moment to myself. I groaned and laid down more, wanting to drown myself in self-pity. Everything was going _terribly._ I was going to have to admit to my mom that I wasn't fit for Pokémon battling, and then my dream of becoming as strong as my siblings was going to go down the drain. I'd get some back-end job at a PokeMart, die poor and alone, and be known for the rest of history as Nate and Rosa's failure of a sister.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there, but my stewing was interrupted by a scream, one that sounded distinctly like Rosa's. Without thinking, I jumped out of bed, staggering only slightly before bolting out of the infirmary. There were only two things that scared Rosa enough to make her scream like that: wild Spinarak and Team Plasma. So either Plasma was back, or I was worrying for nothing.

Unfortunately, my bad luck seemed to be on a roll today, and as I scrambled up the grassy slope to where the battles were being held, I saw that it was neither a Spinarak _nor_ Plasma. There were four large Pokémon on the field, with Nate and Black standing on one side with White and Rosa on the other. The startling thing wasn't the setup for the match, however, but the figure standing in the middle of the action.

His looked vaguely familiar, but I couldn't tell where from, and it wasn't like it mattered when the rest of his body looked like some mutation between a human and a Zangoose. Where human hands were supposed to be were giant claws instead, and a red scar streaked down one side of his face. " _ **Battle me,"**_ he roared, slashing his claws at the other Pokémon on the field.

"Are ya crazy?!" That was Black, who recalled his Emboar moments after the outburst. "Get off tha field, ya idjit! Yer gonna get hurt! A Pokémon battle ain't no place fer a guy like you!"

" _ **Shut up!"**_ His yell came out more as a roar, making everybody in the vicinity flinch, and he looked around angrily for something, or maybe for someone. Black and White shared glances at each other from across the field, undoubtedly coming up with a plan to deal with the guy-

-and then his eyes landed on me.

Three things happened in the span of a couple of seconds, and to this day I'm still not sure in what order they happened. I felt a jolt of pure fear as the man- Pokémon- _thing_ stared straight at me, he jumped at me, leaping a distance that no person should have been able to, and Nate and Rosa simultaneously sent out their Gothitelle and Reuniclus towards the man who looked ready to puncture my skull.

"Pokabu!" Nate was the one who screamed as I felt myself being lifted off of the ground and slung over the shoulder of the man who seemed to be batting away Psychic attacks like they were pesky bugs. I was still frozen, a panicking deer caught in very deadly headlights, and could say nothing as everybody seemed to get farther away- which they did, as the man bounded away from the group and towards the forest that surrounded Aspertia.

It wasn't until we were in the cover of the forest that I had half a mind to start beating my fists against the man - once again, I wasn't sure if this _thing_ was even a man. "Let me go, you creep! I-I'll have you know that my brother is the Champion! He'll beat you to a pulp!"

" _ **Shut up,"**_ the man growled, but I was never good at following directions, and instead screamed, louder than I had ever screamed before. I felt myself being lifted off of his shoulder, and believed for a split second that he deemed me too much of a hassle to kidnap, before being slammed into the sturdy trunk of a tree and blacking out.

* * *

"Hey, psst, wake up."

"Mmn...five more minutes, mom."

"I'm not your mom, and you're in _terrible_ danger, now wake up before I fire off a Shadow Ball at you."

" _...excuse me?"_

The threat of a Shadow Ball definitely woke me up, and I opened my eyes blearily, discovering that instead of the forest, I was now in some kind of cave, tied to a large rock- and not alone. I couldn't see the Zangoose man anywhere, but sitting next to me against the wall of the cave was a small Pokémon, a Zorua if I remembered the Pokédex entry correctly. "Hey there buddy," I murmured at it lowly, not wanting to attract the attention of the man-beast if he was anywhere nearby. "Where's your trainer? Can you get me out of here?"

I was absolutely floored when it snorted in reply. "Of course I can, but I don't belong to _any_ trainer." As it scuffled around, moving out of my line of sight, it seemed to notice my hesitance. "What," it whispered, seemingly offended. "Never seen a talking Pokémon before?"

No," I admitted truthfully, and that earned a distinctly Zorua-like snicker as he bit through the rope securing me.

"Good. We like to stay out of sight. Now are you ready to take that thing on, Pokabu?"

It took me a moment to realize what the Zorua meant, and gaped at it incredulously. "Are you _crazy?_ That things going to kill me! Wait- how do you know my-"

My question was interrupted by a hulking figure covering the entrance to the cave, and both me and the Zorua whipped our heads to see that the Zangoose man had returned, and did _not_ look happy. " _ **You,"**_ he growled, and I took a step back in case he decided to run at me and spear me through the stomach with his claws, " _ **are worthless. What do they see in you? You deserve to die!"**_ With one final roar, he lunged forward at me. I closed my eyes, waiting for pain and death-

-and was met by silence. When I opened my eyes, I realized that I was no longer in the cave, but a clearing in the middle of the forest, with Zorua panting next to me. "That took way too much out of me- I don't think I've used that much energy in aeons. You're lucky I still even remember how to make a substitute."

"Gee willikers, I'm so happy," I deadpanned before rounding on it. "Now explain what just happened. Who are you? Why did you help me? And _how do you expect me to beat that thing?_ I don't have any Pokémon!"

As I asked, Zorua dipped around a tree and pulled out what appeared to be a small box, about the size of a deck of cards. "I'll explain later, you just have to trust me and use what's in this for now." He pushed the box towards me, and I grabbed it skeptically. It all felt like a fever dream at this point, the way a talking Zorua was telling me to fight a mutant by using a...card?

The only thing in the box was a solitary card. The back of the card was patterned like a Pokéball, with the red top and white bottom separated by a thick black line and white button, while the front had a full-art picture of a Tepig surrounded by bright orange flames. Only one word was scrawled at the bottom in cursive: _Ember._ "Okay, this is going to help me how?"

"Hold it in front of you and say the first thing that comes to mind," Zorua instructed. "Now hurry, before Shadow Zangoose finds us!"

I had nothing to lose. I was talking to a Pokémon, it was talking back, I was probably on some acid trip, but I had literally _nothing_ to lose except my life if this didn't pan out. I was going to take my chances. "Well, this sounds like a rip-off of Sinnoh Scouts, but all right then," I murmured under my breath, holding it out in front of me between my index and ring fingers. "Uh...Tepig, I choose you?"

Almost immediately, I could feel a warmth surround my body- no, that wasn't right. The warmth filled me rather than covered me, flowing from my chest to every nerve in my body. It wasn't painful, though, but comforting, and felt even more so as light emanated from me. As cliched as it may sound, I felt more...powerful.

As the light dissipated, I stared down at my change in attire. It really _was_ like an episode of Sinnoh Scouts, considering I was wearing. An orange _seifuku_ top with a brown collar and sleeves met an excessively short brown skirt near my navel, and orange boots with brown trimming covered from my knees down to my feet, leaving bare skin around my thighs for two gun holsters sporting small pistols in the same color scheme. Orange gloves ran from my elbows to my fingers, although they were so thin it almost felt like they weren't even there, and the card case that I had pulled the card from earlier was securely strapped to my upper arm. To top it all off, my hair had grown much longer - from its chin length to reaching all the way down to the small of my back - and was held in a ponytail by a large bow that looked like Tepig ears, and a tail, complete with a bouncy ball, sprouted from somewhere that I had rather not think about. "Tepig Ranger, ready for battle!" As I shouted what I assumed to be my catchphrase - I couldn't tell if I was going off of instinct or just making things up at this point - I placed a hand on my hips and drew my other hand up to form a peace sign pointing towards my eye.

Zorua looked at me blandly. " _Who_ are you talking to, exactly?"

"Listen," I said, losing the cutesy magical girl act I had just put on to return his deadpan. "It just felt _right._ Now, can you _please_ explain what's going on?"

Zorua opened his mouth to reply, but was caught off by an angry roar, and the cracking of branches indicated that the Zangoose guy - Shadow Zangoose, Zorua had called him - was furious, and getting closer. "I'll explain after you purify that thing, okay?"

"After I what now?" I didn't even bother looking at Zorua, or expecting an answer, as Shadow Zangoose bounded into the clearing, swiping his claws at the branches and bushes blocking his way. "Woah there, looks like somebody could use some anger management classes."

" _ **Shut up!"**_ Shadow Zangoose swiped his claws at me, reaching me faster than I expected, but I leapt out of the way. It almost felt easier to move, expending less energy as I danced out of reach. " _ **Where's the girl you stole from me?"**_

That made me pause. Did he not recognize me? Well, I suppose I _did_ look more mature, but that didn't matter right now. "She's safe in my care," I lied through my teeth, trying to act more confident than I actually was. "Now give up and, uh, be purified!" I pointed at him while talking; maybe if I just talked him to death, he'd do whatever 'purification' Zorua wanted me to do to him.

" _ **No! She has to pay!"**_ I frowned- what did this guy have against me? Did I even know him. " _ **If Nora can't have it, then neither can she!"**_

Oh. Oh. _Oh._ "Mr. Glade? Is that you?" Instead of an answer, I got another angry roar and a swipe of Zangoose claws, which I took as a _yes_. "What happened to you?"

Zorua was the one who answered, from his spot high up in a tree- the lucky little chicken. "He probably got hit with a _Corrupted PokéCard._ Humans with weak wills or bad intentions come into contact with one, and they get transformed into _Shadow Beasts,_ like this poor guy. You have to purify him so he can go back to normal, but he's too strong to go down just like that. Weaken him first!"

"Thanks for the tutorial," I shouted at him sarcastically, before frowning. How was I supposed to- oh. Oh _no._ "I can't use Ember in a forest! This whole place would burn down!"

"Just focus on hitting Shadow Zangoose. Everything else should be unaffected by your attack!"

I unholstered my guns and took a few more steps back for preparation. "I hope you're right about that! I know a nice family of Pidove who don't deserve having their nests destroyed!" I lied; those Pidove hated my guts. Still, I aimed my guns at the Zangoose, closed my eyes, and pulled the triggers.

Two bolts of fire came out of the pistols; one of them slammed into a tree but did minimal damage, while the other hit Shadow Zangoose straight in the chest. He staggered back, obviously wounded, and Zorua took the moment to leap down next to me, baring his teeth at the Zangoose. "Good, now repeat after me!"

" _Open the door to your heart,"_ I said in tandem with Zorua, rather than after him, cupping my hands and holding them in front of me, " _so that you may return to who you once were. Purifying Flame!"_ I watched as the entire area was bathed in green and two hearts appeared, a Pokeball-patterned one floating in my hand and a dark, shadowy one in front of Shadow Zangoose. They floated towards each other and slowly merged, becoming surrounded by a bright orange light until it disappeared, leaving another Card in its wake. I held out one hand instinctively, and the card immediately raced into it; as soon as I had it firmly grasped, the green aura faded away, and Shadow Zangoose's appearance slowly shifted back into that of Elias Glade. "That was..." I trailed off, unsure of what to say. Terrifying? Exhilarating? Both were probably equally true. I shook my head; there would be time to think about all that later. "We need to get Mr. Glade back to town."

Zorua nodded and trotted next to me as I picked Elias up; just as I suspected, he was much lighter than I thought he would be. The power that the card gave me probably had something to do with it. "What did you do to piss him off so badly?" Zorua asked as we walked back towards the city. I sighed in response.

"It's probably because his daughter's better than me at, like, everything. His family has been having financial issues ever since Glade Corp got ran out of business in Unova because of Silph Co. trying to expand business over here. He can't afford to send Nora to school, even though she's the best trainer they have. I'm, well...I'm not so good, and I'm still allowed to attend school because of the money my siblings have made off of battling. It's not really fair, if you think about it."

Zorua gave a noncommittal hum, and I was about to ask a question of my own, but stopped as we reached the edge of the woods. "Hey, you might want to lay low-" I glanced down at Zorua, only to see that he had already turned into a Tepig, a particularly smug Tepig who was smirking up at me, to be precise.

" _Tep~?"_

"Oh my god!" That was Rosa's voice, and I looked up to see all six of the town heroes - Nate, Rosa, Black, White, Hugh and N - racing towards me. Rosa arrived at me first, glancing between my face and Elias, who I still had in my arms. "That's- that's Mr. Glade, right? Is he okay? Where did you come from? Have you seen-"

"He's okay." My voice came out smoother on instinct, flashing her a reassuring grin. "Mr. Elias Glade here ran into a small... _problem_ in the woods, but I was able to take care of it. If you're looking for Miss Pokabu, she was caught up in the mess as well, but she should also be arriving shortly." I glanced d momentarily back into the forest as if expecting her - myself - to come out at any moment. "Lord N, correct?" I looked straight at N, who seemed startled at being addressed as he stopped staring at Tepig-Zorua. "You look to be the strongest person here, so would you mind-?"

"Ah- yes, of course." I passed Elias into his arms before curtsying and turning around, getting ready to leave.

However, White stopped me. "Wait!" I looked back at her expectantly, and it was obvious that she didn't exactly expect me to actually wait around. "Uh, who...are you?"

I flashed yet another warm smile, one that everybody seemed to visibly react to. "Haven't you heard? I'm Tepig Ranger." And before I could get flagged down yet again, I took one leap into the forest, disappearing from view with Tepig-Zorua on my shoulders.

"Well don't you have a flare for the dramatics," Zorua remarked as we both returned to our regular forms, myself as Pokabu and Zorua as Zorua.

" _Tepig, return._ " I rolled my eyes. "Listen, you turned me into a _magical girl._ I have the right to be a little self-indulgent. Now are you going to tell me _what_ just happened, or am I going to have to battle you for answers?"

"You wouldn't even win," Zorua stated haughtily as we walked once more out towards town. "Pokémon don't listen to PokéRangers as trainers. That's probably why your performance was so bad today."

"Why you little-"

"Pokabu!" Zorua jumped into my arms as Nate came careening out from nowhere, tackling me with a massive hug. Never in my life did I think I would ever find my brother being as touchy-feely as my sister. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? There was this strange girl, and she said that you got into trouble- god, we were so _worried,_ after that thing took you..."

"That _thing_ was Mr. Glade," I shot back, before dialing back on the attitude. "And Tepig Ranger saved me! She was so cool, and then this Zorua came along and helped, too!" I held Zorua up like a doll, something I'm sure he didn't appreciate, and grinned widely. "So yeah, I'm all right."

"Thank _god._ Don't you _ever_ scare us like that again." I nodded, and Nate turned around to shout back out to the city. "I have Pokabu! She's fine!" He turned back to me. "Now you're going straight home and getting some rest, okay? Mom wants to keep a close eye on you tonight."

He reached out to grab Zorua, and I yelped and pull him back close to my chest. "No!" As Nate shot me an odd look, I retracted my statement. "I mean- can I keep him, Nate, _please?_ He helped me so much today, and I...I think he might actually be the one Pokémon who listens to me..."

Tears started to well up near the corners of my eyes, and Nate sighed. "All right, but remember that Zoruas are very finicky Pokémon. Just make sure it-"

" _He."_

"-make sure that _he_ doesn't mess up the house, okay?"

"Okay! Thank you Nate!" And before he could say anything else, I ran past him, not stopping until I was halfway home and out of sight of anybody else.

"Do you _really_ mean what you said, about thinking I'll listen to you?"

I scoffed at Zorua's question. "No, are you kidding me? You're kind of a brat."

"Eh, true."

"But you _aren't_ going to run away before I get my answers." I held him tighter to my chest as a threat. "And I'm _going_ to get my answers, buddy. For starters, who are you? And what did you turn me into?"

"I'm just a Zorua," he replied casually, looking up at me and smirking. "And as for what I turned you into, the better question is who _you_ are."

"...all right." I knew it was bait, but I was going to take it anyways. "Then who am I?"

Zorua snickered, and I could tell it was going to be a long time before I got the answers I wanted. "Don't you know already?"

* * *

" _You're Tepig Ranger!"_

* * *

 _ **END EPISODE 1**_


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